hillary takes another shot at the nomination
it’s 3 am. have you placed your candidate's name in nomination?
1. in arkansas (motto: “home of wal-mart. and tyson. and billary”), timothy dale “who do i have to kill to get a job around here?” johnson, after being fired from his job at target (motto: “fuck wal-mart and the godzillary they rode in on”) department stores, shot and killed bill “gwatney rhymes with richardson” gwatney, a hillary superdelegate who recently switched his support to o’bama. arkansas (doesn’t rhyme with kansas, for some bizarre reason) police claim to be baffled as to motive. but hillary snickered, anyway. “it’s just a shot in the dark, but i have a wonderful feeling that quite a few obama delegates are having second thoughts, as we zero in on the nomination bullseye in denver next week. lieberman uber alles!”
http://elections.foxnews.com/2008/08/13/arkansas-democratic-party-chairman-injured-in-shooting/
2. president john mccain, in his continuing quest to find a weekend replacement for joe “dick cheney” lieberman while lieberman is away shooting rich white republicans in the face, floated the idea of nominating tom “philly cheesesteak. and fries” ridge for “vice” president. “herr lieberman thinks that just as every j.a.p. is entitled to a nose job, so every shicksa is entitled to the god-given right to experience abortion, one of life’s most beautiful, miraculous, and profitable surgical procedures that also helps limit the population of goyim.” when questioned about support for such a move from mainstream republicans, mccain quickly pointed out, “i’m not a republican. lieberman is. besides, bloomberg is a fairy-lover. israel uber alles!”
http://elections.foxnews.com/2008/08/13/mccain-says-hed-consider-pro-choice-vp/
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26186087/
3. hillary “some of my best friends are joe lieberman” clinton promised to campaign for barack “when irish eyes are smiling at mark warner” o’bama in the fall. “IF he wins the nomination. by the way, did you know that a high-velocity rifle bullet can travel farther and more accurately in the thin air of mile-high stadium?” then she winked at hinckley. then she winked at squeaky fromme. then she winked at dick “one shot” cheney.
http://embeds.blogs.foxnews.com/2008/08/14/hillary-to-be-entered-into-nomination-at-convention/#comment-189907
http://features.csmonitor.com/politics/2008/08/13/hillary-to-share-the-stage-with-mark-warner/#comment-108
4. the chinese (motto: “on a clear day, you can see your hand in front of your face”) “women’s” gymnasties team “won” the gold medal against the u.s., then went to the great wall buffet for milk and fortune cookies. one chinese gymnast lost a baby tooth during the floor exercise, and she put it under her pillow at nap time. then the tooth fairy left her a job making toilets for wal-mart.
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20080814.wcowent14/BNStory/specialComment/home
1. in arkansas (motto: “home of wal-mart. and tyson. and billary”), timothy dale “who do i have to kill to get a job around here?” johnson, after being fired from his job at target (motto: “fuck wal-mart and the godzillary they rode in on”) department stores, shot and killed bill “gwatney rhymes with richardson” gwatney, a hillary superdelegate who recently switched his support to o’bama. arkansas (doesn’t rhyme with kansas, for some bizarre reason) police claim to be baffled as to motive. but hillary snickered, anyway. “it’s just a shot in the dark, but i have a wonderful feeling that quite a few obama delegates are having second thoughts, as we zero in on the nomination bullseye in denver next week. lieberman uber alles!”
http://elections.foxnews.com/2008/08/13/arkansas-democratic-party-chairman-injured-in-shooting/
2. president john mccain, in his continuing quest to find a weekend replacement for joe “dick cheney” lieberman while lieberman is away shooting rich white republicans in the face, floated the idea of nominating tom “philly cheesesteak. and fries” ridge for “vice” president. “herr lieberman thinks that just as every j.a.p. is entitled to a nose job, so every shicksa is entitled to the god-given right to experience abortion, one of life’s most beautiful, miraculous, and profitable surgical procedures that also helps limit the population of goyim.” when questioned about support for such a move from mainstream republicans, mccain quickly pointed out, “i’m not a republican. lieberman is. besides, bloomberg is a fairy-lover. israel uber alles!”
http://elections.foxnews.com/2008/08/13/mccain-says-hed-consider-pro-choice-vp/
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/26186087/
3. hillary “some of my best friends are joe lieberman” clinton promised to campaign for barack “when irish eyes are smiling at mark warner” o’bama in the fall. “IF he wins the nomination. by the way, did you know that a high-velocity rifle bullet can travel farther and more accurately in the thin air of mile-high stadium?” then she winked at hinckley. then she winked at squeaky fromme. then she winked at dick “one shot” cheney.
http://embeds.blogs.foxnews.com/2008/08/14/hillary-to-be-entered-into-nomination-at-convention/#comment-189907
http://features.csmonitor.com/politics/2008/08/13/hillary-to-share-the-stage-with-mark-warner/#comment-108
4. the chinese (motto: “on a clear day, you can see your hand in front of your face”) “women’s” gymnasties team “won” the gold medal against the u.s., then went to the great wall buffet for milk and fortune cookies. one chinese gymnast lost a baby tooth during the floor exercise, and she put it under her pillow at nap time. then the tooth fairy left her a job making toilets for wal-mart.
http://www.theglobeandmail.com/servlet/story/RTGAM.20080814.wcowent14/BNStory/specialComment/home
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