obama kisses clinton goodbye, lieberman kisses mccain goodnight
it’s 3 am. the phone is ringing. a “woman” in bifocals and a rumpled pants suit answers. “if you drop out now, sweetie, i’ll make it worth your while.”
1. the Gutless Wonder, who helped john “meet my nazi wife” kerry manage to somehow lose the 2004 election (to an incumbent “president” who has shattered all records for un-approval ratings,) and who finished third in his own state in his own party this time around, finally peeked out from behind mama’s apron long enough to jump on the o’bama o’bandwagon, giving the Handsome Devil a dozen or two delegates that long ago ceased to matter to anyone. hillary “the check is in the mail” clinton was unimpressed. “you’re going to have godzillary to kick around for a long, long time. i haven’t even begun to kneecap the flibbertijibbet.” then she winked at “reverend” jeremiah whight. then she winked at geraldine “in queens, we shoot first and ask who’s a flibbertijibbet later” ferarro. then she winked at tony “some of my best friends are under indictment for being friends of the ‘rack” rezko. then she winked at james “the ragin’ cajun hemorrhoid” carville. then she winked at ed “jews for jesus. and hillary” rendell. then she winked at “tailgunner joe” lieberman. then she winked at john “with endorsers like hillary, who needs bob barr?” mccain. then she obliterated a texas polygamist compound in iran.
2. barack “when irsh eyes are smiling they call everybody sweetie” o’bama, who is running for the democratic “party” nomination for president for some reason that no intelligent person can fathom, apologized for not answering a tv reporter’s question in michigan. then he took a few hits in the press room. then he bought 17,328 boxes of cookies from a michigan girl scout.
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,355758,00.html
http://thecaucus.blogs.nytimes.com/2008/05/14/obama-hold-on-sweetie/#comment-1004478
3. iranian president ahmadenijad vowed that “israel is facing death and annhilation. no, really. i mean it. don’t laugh.” then he annhilated a five-pound can of caviar. then he annhilated a ten-pound bag of pistachios. the real ones, not the spray-painted ones you see in the “grocery” stores. then he annhilated a schoolbus full of iraqi schoolchildren. then he fedexed obama a case of pomegranate-saffron syrup and a recipe for low-carb falafels, along with a hallahmark card congratulating him on landing edward’s endorsement. “death to infidels, sweetie!”
http://www.foxnews.com/story/0,2933,355599,00.html
4. president john mccain, unconcerned about an obama attempt to unseat him in the fall elections, declared that the war in iraq “could be over in four years.” then “tailgunner” joe lieberman (whose 2004 running mate, al “where’s my oscar polish?” gore, managed to lose the election—somehow) gently whispered in mccain’s ear that the iraq war has already gone on for more than five years. “i meant a hundred.” then he dozed off. then lieberman tucked him and kissed him good night. then he sent an israeli hit squad after bob barr.
http://firstread.msnbc.msn.com/archive/2008/05/15/1024578.aspx
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