the obama basher, the hillary hasher, and the montana flasher
it’s 3 am. the phone is ringing. a woman in a pants suit and bifocals answers. “this is vanity fair. thank you for the lovely pictures of chelsea. unfortunately, we cannot see any resemblance to web hubbell.”
1. miley “one goofy name deserves another” cyrus, aka “hannah montana,” aka “the montana flasher,” aka “spitzer’s next girl,” accidentally posed nude for vanity fair last week. then she accidentally posed nude for playboy this week. next week, she’s scheduled to accidentally pose nude for penthouse. “i’m only gong to be a child star for another few months. after that, i’ve got 25 or thiry years to go in my career.” her “father,” billy ray “one hit wonder” cyrus, who is not a texas polygamist, defended the photos. “it’s not like she’s some kid exploited by the disney meat grinder. it’s not like she’s an olsen twin. it’s not like she’s jamie lynn spears. oh, wait, i guess she is like jamie lynn spears.”
http://www.reuters.com/article/peopleNews/idUSN2641449020080430?pageNumber=2&virtualBrandChannel=0&sp=true
2. pat buchanan, who used to work as a ball-polisher at richard nixon’s private white house bowling alley, compared hillary to nixon. “the difference between richard nixon and hillary clinton is, nixon had greatness in his grasp. hillary has obama’s grape-nuts in her grasp.”
3. barack “get under the bus. and stay there” obama finally cut himself loose from “rev” jeremiah wright and his incessant rants. “after i refused to throw him under the bus, after i went on youtube and defended the goofy bastard, him and my crazy grandmother, after i told ferarro to just shut up and eat her rice-a-roni, after i flipped hillary the bird, he just had take center stage and make a lot of crazy accusations that nobody believes. like web hubbell is chelsea’s daughter. she looks nothing like him.” then he flipped hillary the bird again. then he inhaled. then he ate a stack of low-carb pancakes with pomegranate-saffron syrup.
http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/04/29/obama.wright/index.html
4. hillary “the first woman president since jimmy carter” clinton clawed her way to within 1 pont of barack “can i get a pancake?” obama in gallup’s national poll. then she clawed her way to within 1 point of lame duck george “the w stands for wow” bush. then she clawed her way to within 1 point of making the nba playoffs. then she clawed her way into 1 point of snatching monica completely bald. then “tailgunner joe” lieberman blew her a kiss. then she clawed her way to within one point of winning a boilermaker-drkinking contest in muncie.
http://donklephant.com/2008/04/29/gallup-hillary-holds-1-point-lead/
1. miley “one goofy name deserves another” cyrus, aka “hannah montana,” aka “the montana flasher,” aka “spitzer’s next girl,” accidentally posed nude for vanity fair last week. then she accidentally posed nude for playboy this week. next week, she’s scheduled to accidentally pose nude for penthouse. “i’m only gong to be a child star for another few months. after that, i’ve got 25 or thiry years to go in my career.” her “father,” billy ray “one hit wonder” cyrus, who is not a texas polygamist, defended the photos. “it’s not like she’s some kid exploited by the disney meat grinder. it’s not like she’s an olsen twin. it’s not like she’s jamie lynn spears. oh, wait, i guess she is like jamie lynn spears.”
http://www.reuters.com/article/peopleNews/idUSN2641449020080430?pageNumber=2&virtualBrandChannel=0&sp=true
2. pat buchanan, who used to work as a ball-polisher at richard nixon’s private white house bowling alley, compared hillary to nixon. “the difference between richard nixon and hillary clinton is, nixon had greatness in his grasp. hillary has obama’s grape-nuts in her grasp.”
3. barack “get under the bus. and stay there” obama finally cut himself loose from “rev” jeremiah wright and his incessant rants. “after i refused to throw him under the bus, after i went on youtube and defended the goofy bastard, him and my crazy grandmother, after i told ferarro to just shut up and eat her rice-a-roni, after i flipped hillary the bird, he just had take center stage and make a lot of crazy accusations that nobody believes. like web hubbell is chelsea’s daughter. she looks nothing like him.” then he flipped hillary the bird again. then he inhaled. then he ate a stack of low-carb pancakes with pomegranate-saffron syrup.
http://www.cnn.com/2008/POLITICS/04/29/obama.wright/index.html
4. hillary “the first woman president since jimmy carter” clinton clawed her way to within 1 pont of barack “can i get a pancake?” obama in gallup’s national poll. then she clawed her way to within 1 point of lame duck george “the w stands for wow” bush. then she clawed her way to within 1 point of making the nba playoffs. then she clawed her way into 1 point of snatching monica completely bald. then “tailgunner joe” lieberman blew her a kiss. then she clawed her way to within one point of winning a boilermaker-drkinking contest in muncie.
http://donklephant.com/2008/04/29/gallup-hillary-holds-1-point-lead/
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