hillary hacks, mccain attacks, obama smacks
it’s 3 am. the phone is ringing. it’s a woman in bifocals and a pants suit. “marc? could you give me a preview of tomorrow’s headline? i need a scoop.”
1. hillary “the check is in the mail. and so is obama’s passport file” clinton used marc “boilermakers and squirrel guns” ambinder of the atlantic “magazine” as an uncredited writer on her latest youtube alabama obama slamma. according to ambinder, anyway. and he’s at least as reliable as anyone else, including but not limited to, bill richardson and joe lieberman. assuming she really is using marc’s headlines as plagiarized ammunition, let’s see what other golden nuggets lie within some of his more sparkling captions:
“first thoughts: the dem debate.” scintillating. second thoughts, anyone?
“the daily five—goolsbee gate continues.” and you were wondering how goolsbee-gate became such a household word.
“another pledged delegate for obama.” they’re like potato chips. eat one, and you’re hooked.
“mcpeak responds to his critics.” i remember this one. i couldn’t sleep for three days.
“the superdelegate quandary.” sega is planning to use this as the title of their next big blockbuster game.
no wonder she’s “winning.”
she has a point though. why go out and find my own readers, when i can just use a trackback to cannibalize readers from someone who’s been doing this far longer and far better than i? thank you, mr ambinder. keep ’em comin’.
http://marcambinder.theatlantic.com/archives/2008/03/
2. john “any democrat hillary can smear i can smear better” mccain, who briefly campaigned as john kerry’s 2004 running mate before “tailgunner joe” lieberman finished the job, launched into a rambling recitaton of anti-obama attacks first launched by hillary “yes! yes! yes!” clinton. “then, the worst thing of all, that, i think, really indicates senator obama’s attitude, is he had the incredible statement that he compared mr ayers, an unrepentant terrorist, to charles h keating, jr, an unrepentant thieving scumbag. then he compared joe lieberman to bill richardson. then he compared me to george bush. talk about mud slinging. if i were mr ayers, or mr richardson, or mr bush, i’d be fist-pumping mad.” then he dozed off. then lieberman tucked him in and kissed him goodnight. then he put a mint on his pillow. then he balled his socks. then he set the timer on the coffee maker. then he got into bed with an israeli lobbyist who looks nothing like web hubbell.
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/04/21/us/politics/20cnd-campaign.html?hp
3. barack “smooth, with no bitter aftertaste” obama went negative over the weekend. sort of. “either me or hillary would be better than mccain. and all three of us would be better than bush. and all four of us would be better than bill. and the five of us could mop the floor with carter. warren g harding was no prize pig either. ditto us grant. and don’t get me started on james buchanan.” then mccain dozed off. then lieberman refilled his “metamucil dispenser” with fist-pumping cream.
http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5hLPqTxd4Fe7e5EymHU-kTUgweRDQD905UCG80
4. chelsea “seen but not heard. or believed” clinton, who could have a boyfriend if she wanted one, spent sunday nursing a hangover after trolling philly’s gay/lesbian/polygamist bars over the weekend. then she spoke to a small group of fort wayne college students. “i challenge barack obama to one more debate. face to face.” then she took the bag off her head. then the students looked at the floor. then the reporters looked at the ceiling. then rendell looked at his watch.
http://www.journalgazette.net/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080420/LOCAL0202/804200429/1002/LOCAL
1. hillary “the check is in the mail. and so is obama’s passport file” clinton used marc “boilermakers and squirrel guns” ambinder of the atlantic “magazine” as an uncredited writer on her latest youtube alabama obama slamma. according to ambinder, anyway. and he’s at least as reliable as anyone else, including but not limited to, bill richardson and joe lieberman. assuming she really is using marc’s headlines as plagiarized ammunition, let’s see what other golden nuggets lie within some of his more sparkling captions:
“first thoughts: the dem debate.” scintillating. second thoughts, anyone?
“the daily five—goolsbee gate continues.” and you were wondering how goolsbee-gate became such a household word.
“another pledged delegate for obama.” they’re like potato chips. eat one, and you’re hooked.
“mcpeak responds to his critics.” i remember this one. i couldn’t sleep for three days.
“the superdelegate quandary.” sega is planning to use this as the title of their next big blockbuster game.
no wonder she’s “winning.”
she has a point though. why go out and find my own readers, when i can just use a trackback to cannibalize readers from someone who’s been doing this far longer and far better than i? thank you, mr ambinder. keep ’em comin’.
http://marcambinder.theatlantic.com/archives/2008/03/
2. john “any democrat hillary can smear i can smear better” mccain, who briefly campaigned as john kerry’s 2004 running mate before “tailgunner joe” lieberman finished the job, launched into a rambling recitaton of anti-obama attacks first launched by hillary “yes! yes! yes!” clinton. “then, the worst thing of all, that, i think, really indicates senator obama’s attitude, is he had the incredible statement that he compared mr ayers, an unrepentant terrorist, to charles h keating, jr, an unrepentant thieving scumbag. then he compared joe lieberman to bill richardson. then he compared me to george bush. talk about mud slinging. if i were mr ayers, or mr richardson, or mr bush, i’d be fist-pumping mad.” then he dozed off. then lieberman tucked him in and kissed him goodnight. then he put a mint on his pillow. then he balled his socks. then he set the timer on the coffee maker. then he got into bed with an israeli lobbyist who looks nothing like web hubbell.
http://www.nytimes.com/2008/04/21/us/politics/20cnd-campaign.html?hp
3. barack “smooth, with no bitter aftertaste” obama went negative over the weekend. sort of. “either me or hillary would be better than mccain. and all three of us would be better than bush. and all four of us would be better than bill. and the five of us could mop the floor with carter. warren g harding was no prize pig either. ditto us grant. and don’t get me started on james buchanan.” then mccain dozed off. then lieberman refilled his “metamucil dispenser” with fist-pumping cream.
http://ap.google.com/article/ALeqM5hLPqTxd4Fe7e5EymHU-kTUgweRDQD905UCG80
4. chelsea “seen but not heard. or believed” clinton, who could have a boyfriend if she wanted one, spent sunday nursing a hangover after trolling philly’s gay/lesbian/polygamist bars over the weekend. then she spoke to a small group of fort wayne college students. “i challenge barack obama to one more debate. face to face.” then she took the bag off her head. then the students looked at the floor. then the reporters looked at the ceiling. then rendell looked at his watch.
http://www.journalgazette.net/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20080420/LOCAL0202/804200429/1002/LOCAL
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