cloning obama, endorsing hillary, calling mccain
1. it’s 3 am. the phone is ringing. it’s a booty call. “meet me in the situation room. and wear the bifocals.”
2. scientists have successfully combined human dna and cow eggs. dna experts—like the ones who predicted hillary “the italian stallion” clinton would win the democratic nomination by february, and that the patriots would win the superbowl—predicted such experiments would not lead to half-human, half animal “monsters” like godzillary, nor even to direct medical therapies. “basically, we just did it for the shits and giggles. next week, we’re going to try to duplicate barack obama, by fertilizing one of oprah’s eggs with dna extracted from ronald reagan’s hairbrush.”
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23921668/
3. jimmy “the first woman president” carter told journalists in africa, “barack obama won my home state of georgia. my kids endorse obama. my grandkids endorse obama. but i’m officially, publicly, for the record, definitely not, not specifically, not directly, planning to offically endorse anyone, for example, barack obama.” then he winked.
http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2008/04/03/carter-hints-at-supporting-obama/
4. john “the midnight cowboy” mccain released his own “3 am” ad this week, turning the table on hillary “the italian stallion” clinton. in the ad, a telephone is ringing. a woman in a pant suit and bifocals answers. “have you heard the one about the wife, the husband, and the you-know-what taking a slow boat to denver?” then the caller dozes off.
http://www.bizjournals.com/phoenix/stories/2008/03/31/daily74.html
5. asked by a reporter from his daughter’s student paper if he would accept the vp spot on any democratic ticket, the Gutless Wonder said, “no.” when the reporter asked him if clinton had asked him, he said, “no.” when the reporter asked him if obama had asked him, he said, “no.” when the reporter asked him if ralph nader had asked him, he said “no. why? what have your heard?”
http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2008/04/03/report-edwards-rules-out-being-vp/
6. hillary “the italian stallion” clinton denied telling john “you can watch football at my house anytime” edwards that obama woud be unelectable in the fall. “i didn’t say he couldn’t win the presidential election. i said he couldn’t join my country club.”
http://rawstory.com/news/2008/Sen._Clinton_answers_questions_on_campaign_0403.html
7. new jersey governor jon “the machine” corzine today reaffirmed his “very aggressive support” of hillary “the italian stallion” clinton. “unless she picks edwards for vp.” then he snickered. then john “the mutha” murtha snickered. then al “oscar for best nobel” gore snickered. then bill “what have you done for me lately?” richardson snickered.
2. scientists have successfully combined human dna and cow eggs. dna experts—like the ones who predicted hillary “the italian stallion” clinton would win the democratic nomination by february, and that the patriots would win the superbowl—predicted such experiments would not lead to half-human, half animal “monsters” like godzillary, nor even to direct medical therapies. “basically, we just did it for the shits and giggles. next week, we’re going to try to duplicate barack obama, by fertilizing one of oprah’s eggs with dna extracted from ronald reagan’s hairbrush.”
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/23921668/
3. jimmy “the first woman president” carter told journalists in africa, “barack obama won my home state of georgia. my kids endorse obama. my grandkids endorse obama. but i’m officially, publicly, for the record, definitely not, not specifically, not directly, planning to offically endorse anyone, for example, barack obama.” then he winked.
http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2008/04/03/carter-hints-at-supporting-obama/
4. john “the midnight cowboy” mccain released his own “3 am” ad this week, turning the table on hillary “the italian stallion” clinton. in the ad, a telephone is ringing. a woman in a pant suit and bifocals answers. “have you heard the one about the wife, the husband, and the you-know-what taking a slow boat to denver?” then the caller dozes off.
http://www.bizjournals.com/phoenix/stories/2008/03/31/daily74.html
5. asked by a reporter from his daughter’s student paper if he would accept the vp spot on any democratic ticket, the Gutless Wonder said, “no.” when the reporter asked him if clinton had asked him, he said, “no.” when the reporter asked him if obama had asked him, he said, “no.” when the reporter asked him if ralph nader had asked him, he said “no. why? what have your heard?”
http://politicalticker.blogs.cnn.com/2008/04/03/report-edwards-rules-out-being-vp/
6. hillary “the italian stallion” clinton denied telling john “you can watch football at my house anytime” edwards that obama woud be unelectable in the fall. “i didn’t say he couldn’t win the presidential election. i said he couldn’t join my country club.”
http://rawstory.com/news/2008/Sen._Clinton_answers_questions_on_campaign_0403.html
7. new jersey governor jon “the machine” corzine today reaffirmed his “very aggressive support” of hillary “the italian stallion” clinton. “unless she picks edwards for vp.” then he snickered. then john “the mutha” murtha snickered. then al “oscar for best nobel” gore snickered. then bill “what have you done for me lately?” richardson snickered.
Triggering the Grand Irrationality?"
Cowering in an obscure corner of the food pyramid
somewhere between the tofu and the unflavored yogurt
contemplating the juxtaposition of intangibles for all you are worth.....
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